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PANDEMIC FUN
Future Things You Can Blame on COVID
More than just “The COVID-19”
Okay, you have all heard the “Gained the COVID-19” line every time you finally see someone in person and their ass is in the process of upsizing their meeting-quality sweatpants. Besides the extra tonnage, there is more stuff we will be able to blame on this virus-based shitstorm. Some of it takes preparation though, so… you’re welcome.
Your increased collection of booze
You remember when your liquor cabinet held only the standard bottles of cheap vodka, margarita-night tequila, and that weird green bottle in the back that some asshole left at your house in 2012.
But now… you have taken advantage of all those alcohol delivery service coupons and the impending world doom and stocked up. Your liquor cabinet is now full of any flavor you decide to have on your Tuesday-night why-the-fuck-not drinking binge. No worries, you haven’t been in your car since last Spring and on Zoom nobody can tell the difference between hangover hair and just a normal Wednesday morning.
Write this down. “Do you remember that time when (Red or Blue politician of choice) said that we should all be prepared and that the essentials might run low? I made these purchases after considering the…
