MATH HUMOR

Math Teacher Giving Up Too

If the English department can do it, I want in.

Photo by Magda Ehlers from Pexels

In response to Jennie Young’s treatise on making grading easier for English teachers, here are eleven things that we have voted unanimously to change in the math department. Why eleven? It’s the last time we get to use a prime number.

1. Straight Lines. By definition, all lines are straight. It’s not a gender thing, it’s just a precise way of describing it. The other ones are called curves. But, you know what, we’re going to let that go so all graphs don’t get canceled.
2. You can go ahead and say “times-ed” now. We’re tired of correcting you with the term “multiplied”. Also, while we’re at it, the terms “product”, “difference”, “sum”, and “quotient” will all be replaced with “Final Answer!”, but you have to scream it. With respect to Regis whose picture will now replace Euler in all textbooks.
3. Prime numbers. Nobody cares except us and a dead guy named Reimann, so we’ll just stop talking about them.
4. Greek letters and other weird symbols like square root, summation, and pi. We were just fucking with you on that one anyway because we like to watch you try to write them. We will henceforth replace everything mathematical with the poop emoji.