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BRACING FOR THE FUTURE
Offensive Defensiveness
Continued defense is exhausting
“J___, can you…” I called the student by name like I had many times before.
“She was doing it too!” The automatic response.
I hadn’t noticed what “she” was doing. I hadn’t even seen J doing anything wrong. I was planning to ask a question relevant to the topic on the board and hoped that I could start some classroom participation. Instead, I set off a series of back and forth accusations and dirty looks that should have been more at home in a third grade classroom (or possibly the halls of Congress).
I don’t feel like I have an accusatory tone, or that I speak harshly when asking questions. But, I decided to consciously change my delivery and sometimes even preface that the next call would involve a classroom question and not an accusation of any sort. Sometimes it changed the interaction, and sometimes not. I pledge to do better this year.
But, why are the children automatically defensive when they are being called on? Why is it that any verbal interaction seems to indicate that a put-down is forthcoming, or that it has to be a win/lose situation? What are we doing to our kids that they have to be on defense the whole day? They are exhausted from it.
